Fatherhood

 Gregory still felt somewhat numb as he leapt down out of the helicopter and glanced around the clearing they’d landed in. The pilot and two other soldiers quickly followed suit, one of them turning toward him with a scowl.

“I don’t know why you’re here,” he growled, “but I’m supposed to bring you in and out alive. Unfortunately, we’re under a time crunch, so you have an hour and thirty minutes to do what you came for while we unload the supplies. If you’re not back by then, we’ll be forced to leave without you. Do I make myself clear?”

Biting his tongue, Gregory nodded. “Yes, sir,” he said, even though in most likelihood, he outranked him. After all, given the fact that he was the one to order this delivery, but the sergeant didn’t know that. 

“Then might I recommend you get your carcass moving?” the sergeant barked as the other soldiers and their pilot moved to unload the relief supplies. 

Funny, Gregory was there for relief too. Just his own, and not for the local population. He just hoped the man could give it to him.

Shaking away that thought, Gregory grabbed his gear before starting down the side of the hill toward the small village, skirting to the side as the villagers hurried to greet them. 

Gregory waited a minute as the villagers met with the other soldiers. 

He didn’t care to be a part of this. He was there for another reason, and he wasn’t about to get sidetracked…

* * * 

Jonathan was just helping one of the children with a verse they were having trouble with when a shadow fell over the doorway and the children all tensed at the military-clad figure. Jonathan glanced up, and it only took a second for him to recognize the familiar face. 

“Gregory, what are you doing here?” Jonathan asked, smiling as he stood up and hurried over to his son. His smile only faltered when he began to wonder why he was there. “Is everything alright?”

Before responding, Gregory gave a small smile to the kids. “Hi, everyone. Mind if I borrow your pastor for a bit?”

At that, the children started whispering among themselves, and Jonathan chuckled. “Everyone, this is my son, Gregory.” That instantly dispelled the tension in the room. “Ah! Save your questions until after today's lesson is completed. I expect you to work hard while I go speak with my son in private.”

With that, Jonathan placed his hand on Gregory’s shoulder and led the way back outside. Once they were far enough away that they couldn’t be heard, but still close enough for the children to get him if need be, he turned toward his eldest son. Gregory shifted from foot to foot and glanced around.

“How are the kids holding up without Mom around?” he asked, glancing toward the village where Jonathan's own children were off helping the community. Jonathan smiled at the thought.

“They’re holding up,” Jonathan said. “Only a few more months until Jordan’s old enough for them to come and join us.”

Gregory nodded. “I’ve been meaning to visit them. I just haven’t had the time.”

Jonathan raised an eyebrow at that. “Yet you were able to travel halfway across the world to me? Alright, kiddo, out with it. What’s going on?”

Letting out a sigh, Gregory plopped himself down on the ground. Jonathan followed suit, if a bit slower.

“Do you… remember when I went off the grid for a month?” Gregory asked, and Jonathan grimaced.

“You mean when you were MIA for a month? Yes, I tend to remember those sorts of things. Why?”

Instead of responding right away, Gregory watched the younger children in the field beside the church. “Stasia’s pregnant,” he whispered, dropping to the ground.

Jonathan’s brow furrowed. “Yours?”

Gregory’s head shot up so fast Jonathan was surprised he didn’t give himself whiplash. “What?! Of course! Why would you even ask that?”

“I didn’t mean anything by it,” Jonathan said, resting his hand on his son’s shoulder. “I’m just trying to understand why this wonderful news has upset you. And why it required searching me out. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you came here and told me in person. But something is obviously wrong. Come on, Gregory, talk to me.”

* * *

Gregory blew out a breath and tried to get his racing thoughts into order. He wasn’t sure if Jonathan would understand. Gregory loved him, but they’d had very different upbringings and very different lives.

“We weren’t going to have a family,” Gregory whispered, burying his face in his hands. “We decided that a long time ago. Neither… neither of us were meant to be some unlucky kid’s parent.”

He felt Jonathan’s grip on his shoulder tighten. “Well, God obviously has other plans. And His plans are always better than ours.”

“Does He?” Gregory asked. “I mean, just because Stasia’s pregnant doesn’t mean that God wants us to be parents.” If the look that crossed his dad’s face was any indication, he did not word that right. “I didn’t… I didn’t… I just…” Gregory groaned. “I meant adoption. Just because we’re having this kid doesn’t mean we’re supposed to raise him.”

“Gregory… you’re not your father.”

For a second, Gregory froze before looking up at the man who had taken him in seven years ago–a mixed-up thirteen-year-old searching for his place in the world. “That doesn’t mean I won’t mess this up. That I won’t mess him up.”

“Kiddo,” Jonathan whispered, sighing as he moved his hand from Gregory’s shoulder to the back of his head. ”Any kid would be lucky to have you as a father. You are an amazing person, and you’ll make an amazing father.”

Gregory felt his throat tighten as he bent closer to his dad. “I… I just… I already love them so much,” he whispered. “And the thought of hurting them the way… the way my father did makes me physically sick.”

Jonathan chuckled as he bent closer and kissed the top of Gregory’s head. “And that’s how I know you will never be like him. Now…” Jonathan stood up and pulled Gregory to his feet. “Come on. Let’s round up the family before they find out you’re here and have my head for not telling them first.”